"Either you deal with what is the reality or you can be sure that the reality is going to deal with you." - Alex Haley"

This quote is so relevant to me at the moment.
Yes, I have an endless pile of essays to write, books to read and seminars to prepare for and no, I don't really have as much time as I would like to complete everything but I need to stop letting this take over my life. I am living it so I have to deal with it, not have the situation deal with me. Because deadlines will come and pass and I need to learn the best possible way to react to them and become more proactive rather than letting it overwhelm me all the time. It's not like it's just me against the world. If other people can do a Law degree, then so can I. Its just going to be hard, but what did I expect? A walk in the park?

Peace

Invictus

Invictus.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever Gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

This is by far my favourite poem. Ever. It just lifts me up whenever I read it, especially the last paragraph.

'I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.'

'We are a generation of dreamers and believers'

Don't you just love it when you walk into your living room and you see your brother on his laptop, your dad on the phone and your mum and sister heavily engrossed in the TV programme they are watching. No-one was talking to each other. A part of me felt like shutting down the wireless connection, turning off the TV and demanding that my dad take us to the park so we can have a picnic and throw a Frisbee around or whatever it is families do at parks.
Why did I have this incredulous idea?
I have no idea.
But it was nothing more than an idea. If I'm honest, that scenario was never ever going to happen for two reasons.

A) that is just not what my family do anymore and
B) grey clouds filled the sky that day like fireworks on bonfire night.

Instead, I decided to just marvel at technology. As you do. I mean, everything is so fast and just there, in your face. There are no excuses anymore. I can do my shopping online, I can learn a language online, I can pass a degree online, I can see my friends online through Skype, I can watch films online, I can get an online job. If I wanted to, I could just never leave the house. Ever.
Everything is just so fast... Fast food, fast cars, next day delivery, e-mail, text messages.
We are a generation of 'fast' and 'speed' and 'I want it right now'.
We have been shaped to be impatient. Waiting. What is that? It's like we never have to wait around anymore. And when we do, it's the worst feeling in the world, like waiting for the bus or waiting around A&E for hours. Technology has taken over. I wouldn't be surprised if we had robots next to do our cleaning like in I,Robot. I'm sure people are working on that you know. How cool would that be though?

We are a generation of 'fast' and 'speed' and 'I want it right now'.
We are also a generation of dreamers and believers.
Never has it been so easy to be who you want to be. Most of the time its a case of being in the right place at the right time but if you have real talent and persistence, its as if there is nothing you can not do or become. You have the music and film industry spitting out stars over night. Xfactor and Youtube means there really is no excuses.
You wanna be a singer?
You wanna be an actor?
You wanna live in Hollywood?
Do it. Just do it.
Even in Uni. There are opportunities left right and centre. It's great. Life is great.
I think we are ambitious.
I think we less likely to give up entirely on dreams, ideas, projects that we want to see through.
I think we are aiming higher and higher.
And that is goooooood. Because if you aim to see the stars, you are most definitely going to see the clouds. And that is just as good.

"The greatest danger for most of us is not that we aim too high and we miss it, but we aim too low and reach it." - Michelangelo

Keep calm, and carry on

Do you ever feel like life is passing you by?

I hate those days when you have nothing to do so you just sleep. Or watch tv. Or both.

Dont get me wrong though, sometimes its nice to just do nothing, to have a cba-day. I havnt done a single thing today apart from eat, watch tv and eat some more. I look like a tramp right now with my hair up and some random oversized shirt and jacket I found at the back of my wardrobe. I really don't care. This is my I-don't-care day. Or make that an I-don't-care week. It's just been me, my tv and my thoughts running through my head, eating away at any sanity I ever had.

Seriously, who knew life would be this hard?

Or should I say who knew we would make life to be this hard?

"Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify." - Henry David Thoreau

I love films and TV programmes and seeing how much drama is in this fictional characters life. Like, 90210, or Eastenders, or Sex and the City. But I think we should remember that we really should try and stop this 'drama' from manifesting into our real lives. Thats why we have shows like that so we can witness a life full of drama but not have to live it. It's why people write it, so we dont have to live it.

I think I forget about simplicity. Calmness. Serenity. Sometimes, you just need to chiiiiiiiill and cool it right down. Stop and smell the flowers. Niiiiiice.

'Look at us, running around, always rushed, always late. Guess that's why they call it the human race' The Switch.

'You've got me laughing while I sing, you've got me smiling in my sleep.'

Have you guys ever seen (500) days of Summer?
And have you ever felt like Tom?
In love?
Like proper love.
You know the kind. That gut-renching, stomach-turning, head-over-heels, can't-stop-thinking-about-you, butterflies infested stomach, laughing while you sing and smiling in your sleep kind of love. Or so I've heard.

Does that kind of love even exist. Is love even a 'kind' or a 'type' that can be labelled and categorised like a stack of CD's? Does it hit you like a ton of bricks or creep up on you like the flu? Is it a good or a bad thing? A medicine or a disease.

What is it?

Most importantly, have the movies got it right? Have you ever watched Moulin Rouge or Romeo and Juliet or Titanic and thought, known, that it was the perfect representation of being in love. I mean, minus the dying and sinking ship of course.
Its so elusive yet everybody knows about it. Everybody has heard about it. Its what you strive for in relationships is it not?

I think its sad though.

Love is built up in films like 500 days of Summer, Valentines day and The Notebook to be this feeling that is just so unbelievable your life is incomplete until you feel it. They never mention the watered down version we see so much nowadays. Not that 'kind'. The 'kind' you have for the guy/girl you just met, the 'kind' that's easily replaceable after every break up, the 'kind' that's on again/off again, the 'kind' that just doesn't mean anything anymore because its been wasted on too many ears in the past.

That's not it, is it?

Or

Have we, as a society, become so accustomed to the word 'love' and the feelings that come with it that anything will do. That it doesn't even matter anymore because its just a word you use. A word that has been overused, tossed, turned and churned around in our conversations for centuries.

Have the movies and love songs given us such high expectations of 'love' that no one could possibly even compare to that so its just like 'whatever' now?

Or

Is it somewhere in between the two? In the middle, comfortable. Like a perfect score of 5 out of 10. Is it knowing that the person you're with has got your back. That they will be there whether you win or loose, whether your happy or sad, right, wrong, up, down and while your inside out too. They will be there.

And that you have no choice but to fall in love with them.
And even if you haven't got that, you know that you will one day.

'Robin is better than the girl of my dreams, she's real, ya know' 

(500 days of Summer)

'Will you marry me...?'

Okay, so I know I'm supposed to be revising right now but shhh, a couple of minutes wont hurt right? Right? Ahh.
Sometimes I think I should write a book on my life. Or at least some of the weird things that seem to happen to me and my friends. Seriously, some of the stuff is priceless. Like this one time, I was sat in the library and decided to take a break. Biiig mistake. I found myself a couple of couches that were free and so I just sat down listening to some music when this man comes up, who I've seen around before, and sits opposite me and strikes up a conversation with me. Fair enough right? Or maybe I'm just too kind and didn't tell him to go away. Either way we started talking about uni and exams and stuff then... silence... And he says 'so how old are you?, do you have a boyfriend?' Alarm bells were going off in my head like ohh dear. Because even though he said he was 23, he looked about 30.
'I'm 19'
'So you don't have a boyfriend?'
'errm...' (I am crap at lying!)
'I was just wondering if... are you looking for anyone or interested in getting married because I think it's time for me to get married now and you seem like the type of girl that I would like to marry... so young and fresh...'
OH DEAR, Did he he actually just said that?? Yes, he did. Ohh and there is more:
'And I know girls are picky when it comes to guys but sometimes in life we don't always get what we want so maybe you should just settle for me...'
I really didn't know what to say. I mean what could I say to that? So I just laughed it off and said I was only 19 and that marriage wasn't high on the agenda right now. He looked at me like this did not matter one little bit.
All I wanted to do was take a break!
Oh yeah, and I told my mum what happened, her response - 'Why would he want to marry you??' LOVE IT, haha.

Be careful what you wish for.

Do you ever get those days when you wish something exciting would happen? Just anything at all. So you can be dragged out of your daily routine, even if it is for a few moments? Yeah? Well don't. Seriously. I've been there. I absolutely hate routine but sometimes its better to be prepared. A couple of weeks ago I found myself wistfully seeking some excitement other than my riveting contract law textbook, what did i get? An over nights stay in hospital. Not good at all!


Peace.

'Keep studying Love'

Today was an interesting day. I had to rush into uni to make it to my lecture on time. So, there I was, getting on the bus, my bag weighing me down with my textbooks while I had two more books balanced in my arms. As I fumbled for my bus pass to get past the bus driver and his glare I noticed an old man, (well, I say old, he was more middle-aged), make his way to the middle of the bus, sit down and strike up a conversation with a fellow student about university and her degree. On the student bus, he was the only aged face amongst the fresh faced, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed first year students. But this was not really an issue, and made my way to the back of the bus to find a seat and make my way into uni, yet again. Even so, I was transfixed on the conversation between the old man and the unsuspecting girl who he had sat next to and had begun to interrogate about her life at university, 'What are you studying?... Where are you from?... Why did you choose to come to Liverpool University?...' And she answered, with a weak smile on her face, all his questions, before he went off on a tangent about his own life. I smiled. It reminded me of one of them films. You know, where the kids in the film have that certain person on their street that always seems to be reminiscing about their life and all the 'crazy' things they did as a teen. He was talking about his life, and about how he wished he had gone to university.

It wasn't until I was getting off the bus that we made eye contact. Then his eyes moved down to the books in my hand. A smile broke on his face as he gave me a pat on the back and instructed me to 'keep studying, love.' Well, that was all he could tell me as the other students on the bus were pushing to get off. I just smiled, nodded and walked off.

I couldn't stop thinking about what he had said, 'keep studying, love' how he had only, just minutes before, been telling a girl how he wished he had made it to university.

It made me think.
It made me think about university. About education. I should, and I do, consider myself lucky to even be here, you know, after all they say education is the most important tool in life.

And it's true, what this is, where I am right now, is important. I mean, I'm paying £3,000 a year to walk out with a degree. This is some serious stuff. Yet some people aren't able to get this opportunity in their lives. My parents taught me from a young age to take school seriously, it's liberating, and it's certainly not handed out to everybody as it is here and I respect that view.


Peace.

Well hello there...

So...
I decided to jump onto the whole blogging bandwagon and create this amazingly written blog that everyone would just want to read. Well, that's the plan. That's what a blogger wants right? Well, I'm not sure about that but I do know that I think this will be an interesting experience. There is something about just writing about what you think for anyone, anyone, to read. But it's as much as an experience for me as it is for you. I want to sort out my life. And maybe this will help, putting my thoughts into writing, so they are there, laid bare for people to see. Because at the moment, I am tired of not being able to just go up to people and tell it to them straight. I've always thought I sound better in writing anyway. I find that there is something sort of... powerful, about written words. They can be strung together to tell a story. A beautiful story? Only time will tell. Lets see how this goes.
I am quite excited for this. Are you?