Tips on surviving London

I've been in London for just over one year now. It's been pretty intense and I feel like I'm only just starting to get used to being here. There are a couple of things that I wish I'd known before moving however, that would have made the transition from small-cute-and-quiet-Nottingham to omg-wow-slow-down-London a little bit easier to handle. Without the experiences though, I guess I wouldn't have learnt all the lessons and isn't that what life is about - make mistakes and learning from them? Still, here's a heads up on small ways to make it a bit easier.

1. First things first - Do not, I repeat - do not, move to London

2. No, but really - Re-read point number one.

3. Citymapper it - If you, like me, are incredibly stubborn and decide to move to London anyway, the first thing you should do is download Citymapper. It describes itself as the 'ultimate transport app' and it certainly lives up to this description. It's an app that will show you all the options available to you in order to get from A to B. It will tell you how long it'll take, what time to leave and all the different routes available. You can save regular journeys, keep up to date with the latest travel news from TFL and has the tube map available for easy reference. Simply put, it's great. All it needs to do now is make me pancakes in the morning and it'll be perfect.

4. Flat hunting basics - When looking for a place to live, if it seems too good to be true, then it probably is. Never sign up to a place without viewing it and never feel rushed to put a deposit down because 'some other people are really interested too' or 'you won't come across a good place in such a prime location at a great price again'. If you find a place and the stars don't align so that you sign the contract, don't worry - there will be others. Don't let estate agents and/or landlords pressure you into making a decision you may later regret. On the other hand, however, if you do find a place that you immediately like and have no weird feelings about, then act fast. Spareroom.com will become your best friend and worst enemy and estate agents... well, the less said about them, the better (apologies to anyone who actually is an estate agent, it's just that there have been one too many unforgettably bad experiences...)

5. Get out and explore - No matter how long you're in London for, there will always be lots of (sometimes free) things to do. Apps such as Dojo and YPlan along with free magazines like Time Out are great for uncovering events, hunting down fun things to do in the evening and seeking out adventure even on the most mundane of days.
London also has great links to the rest of Europe - pick a weekend and get a train from Kings Cross St Pancras International Station and you could be in Paris by lunch time.

6. Explore both sides of the River - Following on from above, don't forget to explore both sides of the river. I've already become one of those 'North Londoners' who dislike going South of the River because of how long it can take. But when South London boasts of Greenwhich, Richmond Park, Kew Gardens, Battersea Park and Brixton, the journey doesn't seem too bad.

7. Walk around as much as possible - London is a vast, thriving, metropolitan city with a transport system so interconnected that there isn't a corner of the city that is not easily accessible by public transport. When you're in central, however, it's surprising how close everything is to each other. One of my favourite routes sometimes is to walk from Central to East Central (Holborn or Chancery Lane) to uncover that the streets that are usually packed with lawyers, bankers and analysts are now deserted and empty over the weekend. Walking everywhere is also a great way to build up a mental map of London that soon you find your feet taking you from Soho to Covent Garden without a seconds thought.

8. Keep connections and meet new people - I haven't quite mastered this yet but I think I'm getting better at it. You become surprised by how many friends and old acquaintances are also in London that it's great to re-connect. It's also extremely difficult as, naturally, everyone is super busy and trying to figure out their way in the city just as you are. But deciding to make the effort can make all the difference. Meeting new people is a tricky one, but events, talks, joining a club and even dating apps can introduce you to people who you otherwise would not have met.

If you have moved to or currently living in London, what tips do you have on surviving and thriving?

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Reclaim your lunch break

How many times have you been at your desk at work, looked up at the clock only to find that you're 20 minutes into your lunch break or that it's nearly 2.30pm and the last time you got up was to grab a sandwich before returning dutifully back to your desk. I can't say that this happens to me often - as soon as it hits 1.00pm I am up and out of my office building in a bid to walk around, eat, catch up with a book I'm reading or just generally take a break from the office. However, I notice that a lot of people around me at work rarely do this and opt for eating at their desk while continuing to work.

The guilt factor 

Eating at your desk can be very easy to do, and, before you know it, your lunch break turns into a fleeting thought or even a luxury you once had.  I often urge my current manager to take her full lunch break and get out of the office, to enjoy the one hour away and return to her desk feeling refreshed with a clear mind. I understand however, that demands don't stop and taking a full hour away from the desk can induce strange feelings of guilt or overbearing anxiety that you're going to seem unproductive. To think that you need to power on, that you have too much to do and that to take an hour out of your working day will, somehow, be unproductive is, in itself, very counter productive. There are many health benefits - both mental and physical - in taking a full one hour lunch break away from your desk that include clearer thinking, restoring energy levels or simply bonding with colleagues.  But if you are made to feel guilty about taking one hour out of the day to yourself, what does that say about society and the work culture? About the value employers place on the well-being of their employees? Remember that you are simply human - munching away at your desk on last nights left overs is not a fully qualified lunch break, it is more your body reminding you that you are not a robot and you do in fact need to eat, at the very least.

Your lunch break is sacred

Since leaving university and entering the professional working world, I have two burning questions -

1. Why are we so determined to possibly sabotage our health, productivity and overall well-being for just one extra hour of answering emails or typing away at a report?
2. Who are these God-awful people who schedule meetings during lunch time?

I've had days, of course, were I've inevitably had to eat at my desk due to changing deadlines and last minute requests that are time sensitive. It can sometimes be unavoidable. On those days I find myself hating everything and everyone - the hours seem to last longer while my concentration and energy levels are in dire need of some refuel. What I've come to realise is that your lunch break is indeed sacred. It's golden hour and a time to forget about your to do list. My argument for this is simple - out of the 35 - 40+ hours we work a week, what is the real harm in taking out 5 hours for ourselves.

The world will not implode

Go back to basics with some good, old fashioned bonding and ask a colleague if they want to get some lunch - you never know where conversation could take you and what relationships could blossom. Whatever the weather is like, go for a walk (or if you really can't face the cold outside, take a break in your office kitchen/canteen). Call your mum. Run some errands. Find a bench and read a book or magazine or newspaper or just people watch. If the work really can't wait, schedule a business lunch and talk strategies and upcoming projects while deciding if you want a side of sweet potato fries (who doesn't?) Or do absolutely nothing - we are always looking for ways to fill up every single minute of every single day that doing nothing but eat can be very calming.

Whatever it is that you choose to do, just make sure that it's away from your desk and computer screen.  

I understand that for many, taking a lunch break simply is not an option. Horrible bosses, very bad company culture or working in medical care can easily contribute to the lunch break being an elusive myth one can only imagine but never truly experience. But if you do work an office job and your boss is somewhat reasonable, taking a lunch break will not diminish your work ethic or put your bonus in jeopardy. Work hard, get in to work earlier if needs be, but use that one hour as it's meant to be used - as a well deserved break.

Even if the work is piling up, even if your to do list has just doubled, even if you think the world will implode* if you step away for one hour, take that one hour and reclaim it back in all its entirety.
Go on, take a break.

Do you regularly take your lunch break at work?

Currently loving:

Is lunch a waste of time or productivity booster?

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*This probably won't happen. I hope.

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Teenage ambition // Musings

Between the ages of 5 and 15 I wanted to be 101 different things ‘when I grow up’. I started out my childhood wanting to be a nurse before my dad told me to aim as high as possible and set my sights on becoming a surgeon. This was, of course, humorously stereotypical of a Nigerian father but, unbeknownst to him, it prompted obsessions with high flying, slightly impossible careers. For a large portion of time, I wanted to be an actress, but like, a multi-millionaire-Beverley-hills-living-I-only-drink-water-from-the-mountains Hollywood actress. I also convinced myself to take up a sport so that I could, eventually, compete in the Olympics (obviously). I tried everything from Field Hockey to Cycling, from Netball to Running, only to realise that my body was not made for such things. At one time I thought I should pursue a career in science and be the one to discover indisputable evidence that there actually is life on Mars. But there came a point where my grades in science didn’t really reflect this ambition so I thought it best to be realistic for once and let that dream go. Then, I shifted my attention to music and took up piano lessons for a summer and came to the conclusion that the age of 15 was too late to play a musical instrument and become the next Beethoven. It was all or nothing for me and I didn’t want to settle for anything less. I thought about architecture, about modelling, about owning my own store a la Bloomingdales or Harrods, about pursuing a career in design and even about teaching at Oxford. Name a career and I would have spent weeks, months, or even years, researching and convincing myself that I could pursue that.

One thing I will always be grateful about is that, despite whatever hare-brained idea I had to pursue a certain activity or vocation, both of my parents were supportive. Probably because they knew I’d get bored and move on eventually – but, nevertheless, there was no ‘you can’t do that’ or ‘I’m not sure it’s the best thing for you to do’. In fact, out of everyone, my parents encouraged me to think about these things and to ask ‘why not?’ This was, of course, until I got to college and all of a sudden I was making what seemed to be the irreversible decision as to what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. At which point my dad pretty much pulled me in the direction of Law.

Nevertheless, I wanted to do and be everything I possibly could in one lifetime. It seems a shame that, as we get older, we are directed into one single minded way of thinking – to believe that we can and should only have one career path. To become one thing and stick with that for ever, which will define who you are seems a bit daunting.

However, I’m now willing myself to take some inspiration from my teenage self and realise that I still can and should do everything and anything (within reason, of course), despite having a full time job that uses up 70% of my energy (the other 30% is used up by navigating my way around London and trying not to get lost… again). I have started to meet people who, despite also working full time, are really into fitness and work out five times a week (!), or who freelance as graphic/web designers after work, who teach a language or musical instrument, who go to free talks to learn more, have a mini business on the side, who blog, take part in their community or volunteer their time for great causes. They are bad ass women and men who are refusing to be defined by their job title alone or how much money they make. Being on a certain career path and progressing in your chosen field is a vital part of your life, but it doesn’t have to be the be all and end all and as human beings we are so much more complex than that. It doesn’t, and it shouldn’t, be the defining fact about you. When someone asks you what you do, feel free to let them know your career, but also all the other wonderful things that you spend your spare time doing. 

Currently loving: 

The new H&M advert

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There's no place like home

It wasn't until I turned 25 last December that I fully understood the meaning of the phrase 'there's no place like home'. After moving to London and feeling lost in a sea of people and noise for 3-4 months, I finally got online, booked my train tickets and went back to Nottingham. I discovered that it is true what they say - there really is no place like home.

Growing up, my mum would always say this phrase to me over and over, with a longing in her eyes to one day return to her own home; Nigeria.  Many years later, I now fully understand what she meant. She was referring to the fact that there's nothing like the familiarity of your childhood bed, or the noise the stairs make when you creep down them in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. She was pointing out the fact that everything remains the same, even though so much (of you) has changed and will continue to do so. There is no place where you'd rather be to hide from a storm or dance well into the night. It's the first place you think of calling when you hear news - good or bad.

What I had yet to understand was that 'home' is the place where your heart feels easy. Where it knows that it belongs and can stay as long as it needs. It's a place of feeling, of comfort and solace - where no words have to be exchanged or explanations given. It's a place of indescribable contentment. The kind that offers comfort and a sense of safety that no place you've seen has been able to offer you so far.

Home is the memories with your siblings. It's remembering the childhood games you played in the long summer days. It's the resenting 'I'm sorry' after the argument to end all arguments. It's the embarrassing moments only you share together. It's being safe in the knowledge that wherever you may travel, there's a connection that started long before your existence that you can always find your way back to.

It's the distinct smell of your mothers cooking - the spices and fried plantain that can be smelt from halfway down the street. It's the surprise 'I'm making Moi Moi' your mum calls out as you enter the house. It's the deafening silence in the middle of the night and the rush of movement in the morning. It's the feeling of restlessness - of wanting to move on to the next adventure. But not yet, maybe next week, month or year.

It's a place that, despite my best efforts, is difficult to describe. What does it mean to be home? It means comfort, safety, familiarity, and memories you thought you'd long forgotten. It's a building, a city, and, more importantly, it's a person, or group of people, that truly define the word home.

What is your definition of home?

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Thoughts on not drinking alcohol

While growing up the thought of drinking alcohol never crossed my mind - I had no urge, need or curiosity to try it. Mainly because of my upbringing, my religion and the fact that it never entered my parents home. In fact, I don't think I had ever been around any drunk people until I started university. While I had friends who were already experimenting with alcohol, it wasn't until then that I started to witness drinking games and came into close contact with various bottles of various drinks I was previously oblivious to. I'll admit, curiosity did start to creep up on me during my first couple of months at university and I seriously thought about trying it, just to see what all the hype was about - I mean, it must be amazing the way it so heavily dominated some peoples university experiences and conversations, right? However, the more I would witness some of the effects of alcohol in the form of stumbling, falling and being helped by friends into a taxi, uncontrolled behaviour or the tales of hangovers the next morning, the more my curiosity started to fade. Of course, drinking doesn't have to lead to levels of extreme drunkenness but, time and time again, I was seeing the effects that too much alcohol was having on both males and females, and decided that it must not be worth it and that I never wanted to put myself in a position where I could get to the state of not being in total control of my actions.  Don't get me wrong, I have many friends who drink on occasion, who get tipsy or who get drunk and send me humorous drunk texts and have many stories the morning after the night before. However, my decision for not drinking alcohol shifted from not drinking for religious reasons and because it was the way of my parents to not drinking because I'd made a conscious decision to not do so.

Since moving to London, I've yet to find a way to socialize and meet new people that doesn't involve drinking of some sort. Sometimes it's tiring to be the only sober person in a group of new people and it seems that socializing is made easier when slightly merry. I don't know how I managed to get through university like this. The only explanation I can think of is that my love for dancing and eagerness to make friends at university overshadowed any awkwardness I felt when in a situation where I was the only one not drinking. Now, however, I can't help but notice how much alcohol is involved in almost all social occasions. I thought it was something typical of university culture only, but it seems I was wrong and that it's something typical of society in general, albeit in slightly different ways.

I get very mixed reactions when I meet new people and tell them that I don't drink. People either don't see it as a big deal or look at me like I'm a social outcast, ask me if I'm being serious and try and get me to taste something alcoholic. I've been thinking recently about just how ingrained the idea of drinking is in our culture. From having a glass of wine with a meal to drinking to get drunk, to relax, for the buzz, the feel good factor, for some dutch courage, to lose your inhibitions or just because everyone else is drinking too.  It's all so normal in our culture that someone who decides not to partake in the activity is immediately asked why. Most of the time it's out of pure curiosity - a question to keep the conversation flowing or genuine interest in finding out more about your life choices. Other times, it can feel accusatory - like there must be big reasons behind deciding to opt out of such a social activity. Few times, however, I've found that the question as to 'why' is less to do about me and more to do about the person asking - that when I give my reason I'm met with ten reasons as to why the person indulges in drinking 'well I think it's ok... I don't drink that much, just when I'm out... I drink to relax, you know?' It's almost as if, by me choosing not to drink it means I'm automatically judging those who do when, really, I don't care if you do or don't -  as long as it's your conscious choice to do so.

It's interesting to think how something like a drink is heavily involved in our society. Whether you drink or not, it's enough to divide opinions and create heated debates when really, it just comes down to personal choice, and that's absolutely fine.

What are your thoughts on someone not drinking alcohol?

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