Thursday, 14 January 2016

Getting over cringeworthy moments // Musings

One of my favourite places in London at the moment is St Pancras International Station. I love that they have piano's placed there for people to play while waiting for their train and how the somewhat peaceful melodies from the piano players of London is nicely juxtaposed against the busy station and rush of travelers.  It's a place that I could easily sit and people watch for a couple of hours, which I've done one too many times while waiting for a train back home. And what I've learnt from watching people rush around, worried with their own lives, is that people are so consumed with themselves, that they're really not looking at you. How often do you try to get to sleep only to be met with your brain recalling about 11 times from your life where you embarrassed yourself to what felt like the point of no return. I remember giving a presentation at uni once and was so nervous to do so as I didn't have a clue what my topic was about. Despite spending the entire week researching it, I still couldn't get my head around it and couldn't change it to something I actually understood. So I walked up to the front of the class feeling like a complete fraud and the moment I started speaking my voice began to shake uncontrollably - something that's never happened to me before which made it even worse! When I think about it now, I cringe and laugh with absolute embarrassment. But really, who remembers that part of the day in so much detail apart from me? No body will go home after school or work and over analyse every single word you gave during the presentation because they'll go home and over analyse every single word they gave during the presentation. 

I always wonder if people spend as much time as I do overanalyzing every single detail of the day and I've come to the conclusion that they do, of course they do, just from their own perspective. You're the main protagonist of your story, so you're bound to over think situations at work, with family and friends or replay old conversations over and over again, insisting that you messed up. In reality though, who even remembers in such excruciating detail your most cringe-worthy moments, apart from you? As my homegirl Eleanor Roosevelt is quoted as once saying, 'you wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.' So chill in the knowledge that people have their own schedules and views of the world that doesn't involve or have anything to do with you. I don't mean this in a 'nobody-cares-about-you' kind of way, but more of a 'nobody-is-really-watching-you-so-chill' kind of way.

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